I heard the words “The Joy of the Lord is My Strength” this morning. I have heard those words a few times and I knew it was scripture but I never looked up the actual verse and the context surrounding it. The Lord put it on my heart to look it up. He told me “don’t get so comfortable with just repeating words without knowing the TRUE context.”
There are so many quotes that we have heard growing up that we took as “bible” but they are nowhere to be found in the word.
“Cleanliness is next to godliness”
“Money is the root of all evil” (before you come for me and say “Brittany that is in the bible- NO IT ISN’T- It’s “The LOVE of money is the root of all evil”, 1 Tim 6:10)
“God will not give you more than you can handle”- wrong AGAIN!- the scripture is: We all experience[a] times of testing,[b] which is normal for every human being. But God will be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature, and timing of every test or trial you face[c] so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust him more, for along with every trial God has provided for you a way of escape[d] that will bring you out of it victoriously. 1Cor 10:13
These are just a few that I know I have heard said SO MANY times and since they sound good and are encouraging in the moment I would go along with them. WELL IT IS TIME OUT FOR THAT.
(This post is not about me trying to get everybody together to be biblically sound although there would be nothing wrong with that.)
I am writing this post actually as encouragement. For you, for me, FOR WHOEVER needs it.
When I went and looked up the scripture surrounding the words “The Joy of the Lord is My strength” I was pleasantly surprised when I realized it wasn’t just its own scripture. It follows other dialogue from Nehemiah to the Israelites. Here it is- see it for yourself.
Nehemiah 8:10 Then he said to them, “Go and eat what is rich, drink what is sweet, and send portions to those who have nothing prepared, since today is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, because the joy of the Lord is your stronghold.”
I am going to be honest I didn’t really understand what Nehemiah meant. Call me slow but I needed more explanation.
I did a little research. Checked out some commentaries.
THEN IT CLICKED.
I have always looked at these words as encouragement- and don’t get me wrong they are but not necessarily how we view JOY.
I am going to be PRETTY frank with you all right now. I am going through A LOT. This is what would probably be considered a wilderness season for me. I am in a valley. I am facing the “shadows” of death. TIMES ARE HARD.
BUT I am the closest to God that I have ever been. This was by force at first BUT now I am making a deliberate choice to be closer to Him.
I am at a place where HE alone is my source. Not neglecting the people that he has given me to uplift me because they are absolutely necessary and a TRUE BLESSING to me but this season requires more of me to be quiet and kneel before God rather than running my mouth and running to people.
In this hard season I have started to learn what it means to worship God through all circumstances. I am not saying that in the midst of me crying and asking God why that I just break out into a song and dance praising God. That is not the case but it amazes me that I can be in the midst of tears or a full blown anxiety attack and I can feel the Holy Spirit telling me to worship and think about how good God has been. Slowly but surely I feel my soul shifting from utter devastation and hurt to complete surrender to the goodness and faithfulness of God. This has come with a lot of rejection to my flesh and sometimes my flesh STILL wins but lately the Holy Spirit has been the victor.
So when I saw what these words from Nehemiah actual meant I was SO ENCOURAGED.
See usually when we view joy we see it as “rainbows and butterflies”. We see joy as laying on the beach, sipping something fruity. We see it as the birth of a baby or a wedding day. We see it as whatever you could think of the best thing happening to you is. This is what we as humans consider joy but really these circumstances provoke joy.
BUT THE JOY OF THE LORD— it’s… well it’s different.
The joy of the Lord is when you are stuck in the house for 65 days because we are in a pandemic and you choose to see the brighter side anyway. It’s when you THOUGHT you would have 3 or 4 kids by now but you have none and you still can love on your best friend’s kids through you hurt. It’s when you thought marriage was lasting and it ends abruptly and you still find a way to not be bitter and to support others in their marriages.
IT IS STRENGTH.
This joy comes with restoration. With realizing that your circumstances are NOT ideal but God is still faithful.
This joy reminds us of how you walked through the valley of the “shadow” of death before and you didn’t fear ANY evil because your Shepard was guiding you.
This joy reminds you that although you want things to look pretty on the outside that the inside is where you must rebuild from and until that happens you are living a lie.
THIS joy shifts your perspective from WHOA is ME to WORSHIPPING!
This is the joy that I am asking God to lather on me. In this time of uncertainty and disappointment. I need the joy that comes directly from GOD that doesn’t make me happy BUT makes me stronger.
It makes me stand in the face of my issue with the entire armor of Christ on. It shows me when the mountain is in my way- in the midst of the valley-- HE IS MY STRENGTH.
My prayer for you is the same. That you can find “Joy” in the hardest of situation and the most amazing situations-- in ALL of your circumstances.

Scriptures to reference:
Nehemiah 8:10
Psalms 23
Song of Encouragement: Hillsong United- Highlands (Song of Ascent)

Until Nothing’s Left
Brittany
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Would it be easier to go through your struggle seasons if you knew that one day that situation would be used to help someone you love?

Would you be able to stomach a situation a little longer in order to be that strength for your child in the future when they go through a similar situation?
Would heartache be worth it if you understood that one day your sister would be in the same position and you could help her through her situation so she would never feel what you felt?

I think anyone with a good heart would endure a little more so that their loved ones wouldn’t have to.

Unfortunately, when we are going through hard situations our first thoughts aren’t to suffer longer so we can help someone in the future. We want to get through it and be done. And a lot of times we never want to think about it again.

I know this because i have been there.

I was so over nursing school when i graduated that even talking about any kind of further schooling made me mad. Hadn’t i already endured enough through those 2 years... goodness!

Or let’s not talk about those stupid breakups that i endured throughout college. Yuck!

Postpartum depression— THE WORST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE SO FAR.

I look at those hard times and think “dang i learned a lot”, but when i was going through i couldn’t see straight. I would beg God to make the situation go away or be mad at him for even making me go through it at all.

Since I’ve come through those situations i have seen many reasons as to why they have made me better and what’s crazy is I see how they have also helped some people close to me.
Our experiences aren’t just for us.
Somebody is meant to grow from something you have gone though or are going through.
Somebody will avoid a terrible outcome because they can see what you went through, how you handled it and where you are now.

Your best friend won’t have to go through postpartum depression alone because you will be able to spot it from the jump and help her help herself— whether that means referring her to a counselor or simply praying with her.

Your little cousin won’t lose her virginity in high school because you can help her see her worth before any little dude gets in her ear.
You son won’t be feel the need to “be a player” because you can tell him how you lost one that could been “the one”.
So... what are you going to do with your experiences, with your struggles? How are you going to handle them when they arise?
Are you going to use them as stepping stones or are you going to allow them to be the stones that knock your loved ones down.

I know...i know...i know it’s hard to be selfless in your times of distress... but imagine, just imagine being able to break generational curses all because you endured a little longer... that’s definitely worth it is the end.

Push through those times. Build that character. Make the changes that could better not only you, but your family for years to come.

Until Nothing’s Left

Brittany

*A few scriptures for encouragement*

“But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope.”‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:3-4‬ ‭TPT‬‬

“Now, those who are mature in their faith can easily be recognized, for they don’t live to please themselves but have learned to patiently embrace others in their immaturity.”Romans‬ ‭15:1‬ ‭TPT‬‬

“Let this hope burst forth within you, releasing a continual joy. Don’t give up in a time of trouble, but commune with God at all times.”‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:12‬ ‭
“If your faith remains strong, even while surrounded by life’s difficulties, you will continue to experience the untold blessings of God! True happiness comes as you pass the test with faith, and receive the victorious crown of life promised to every lover of God!”
‭‭James (Jacob)‬ ‭1:12‬ ‭TPT

There are so many things in my life that have been a “struggle” for me. Things that have clearly knocked my wind out- literally and figuratively. Pregnancy/ labor, nursing school, maintaining friendships, breaking off friendships, balancing work and home life... i could go on and on. But nothing has affected me as heavily as insecurity has. It has been like a wet blanket just laying over me. It has followed me for years. Made me feel like i wasn’t good enough for some people and made me wear so much pride that it was ridiculous.


Although insecurity has plagued me heavily since i was in high school it really hit me hard last year. Which was weird because i was losing weight and supposedly “getting back to myself” but that wasn’t the case at all.


I was letting so much stuff seep into my psyche. Social media was killing me if i can just be honest. It was making me crave things that were just ridiculous and it really had me thinking i wasn’t “ living my best life”. It was horrible.


Now I can’t wholeheartedly just blame it on social media because i can choose what i want to look at and dwell on and ultimately i know that social media is a highlight reel. Social media CAN BE VERY AWESOME when used appropriately.


Truthfully, Much of my insecurity came from the enemy himself.


I know that might sound super religious and naive but i am a FIRM believer that the enemy plays on your weaknesses. Once he knows where you struggle and you actually give into it then it’s an open door for him to come tap dance all over your life and continuously heighten your issues. The enemy is very methodical in the way he moves. He slowly creeps in and wrecks havoc. (1Peter 5:8-9)


Well since insecurity was so heavy on me last year the enemy took it and ran with it.


Every SINGLE aspect of my life suffered. My personal life, my marriage, motherhood, friendships, work... you name it... insecurity was all over it.


Y’all i prayed and cried so much... i asked God to remove it so much but i just lingered.


I kept wondering why my prayers weren’t getting answered. I kept feeling neglected and rejected and just BLAH!


It took some SIMPLE truths to get me to state of understanding that i could only get my life/ security back if i really wanted to. I had to understand that with God i had to power to push these negative thoughts and feelings away. It would take me dying to self, restricting certain things in my life, lessening communication with some people. It took me making changes that i didn’t want to make but HAD TO MAKE.


I HAD TO LEARN TO BE HAPPY WHERE I WAS REGARDING WEIGHT-LOSS.
This sounds so so so simple, right? Wrong. If i was constantly scouring social media checking this persons weight loss and that persons eating habits and why haven’t i gotten as far as they have. I was comparing EVERYTHING. It was tiring and overwhelming. I had to look in the mirror and tell myself— God has brought me so far and i can’t even be happy about that because i want more, more, more. How ungrateful and sickening. It has taken some time but I am truly learning to make a deliberate effort to embrace and enjoy where i am. 1Samuel 16:7


LOVE MY HUSBAND FOR HOW HE LOVES ME NOT HOW I WANT HIM TO LOVE ME.
I have a REALLLLLLLL good man! Like a no lie! A good provider. Comes home at night. Doesn’t do anything crazy. All he wants to do is play his video game. Lol. He is so simple and GOOD! He doesn’t complain. He doesn’t trip. He is GOOD! But i use to be livid with George y’all. He wasn’t taking me here or buying me this or surprising me with this or that. My mind was screwed up. Paying attention to everyone’s stuff and not embracing what i have. It took me talking to him and not expecting him to read my mind to realize that he wants me to be happy and he is TRYING AND WORKING WITH ALL GOD HAS GIVEN HIM. A wise, more experienced husband told me that embracing him as he is and not putting MY unnecessary expectations on him will change my heart towards him. AND IT IS! I still struggle. I still slip. But he deserves to express love the way he knows how to without me making him feel “insecure” about it.


Motherhood is a whole MESS OF EMOTIONS. I love me some George Solomon. He is the best blessing. But that little boy with make me feel so small. When i snap because he is whining or when i cry because he is crying. Then i jump on the “why do all these other mothers have it together” Bandwagon. I use to feel like a failure. No lie i still do at times. Well recently my baby has learned what “crying” or what it “looks like” to cry is and he ain’t here for it. He doesn’t want me to put my head down. He doesn’t want to see me wiping my eyes. He wants a happy mama. And that has mad me reevaluate myself. I don’t just want to play “happy mama” for my baby. I want to be a happy mama. And if that means i just have to only talk to a handful of other mamas about motherhood advice and not seek the advice of the all knowing Facebook then that’s what i have to do. To protect my peace and be happy with how i am doing things and not looking to do it like everybody else.


I CANT WAIT ON SOMEONE ELSE TO GET ME CLOSER TO GOD— only me and God can do that.


The biggest thing that my insecurity affected was my walk with Christ. I didn’t even realize it early on. I was leaning on this to help me with everything else so how in the world was it possible for me to be suffering the most in this area. Well because i was relying on other people to get me closer to God and NOT GOD HIMSELF to be bring me closer to him. Let me explain. I was looking at all the social media ministers, encouragers, evangelist... all their encouraging words and stuff. I wasn’t encouraging myself i needed them to encourage me. I waited for that next post or that next sermon snippet to boost me instead of praying for myself and reading myself. My heart posture towards God was contingent on whether or not i heard the right sermon at the right time or did something hit me right when i needed. All this began to come to fruition when God told me that “surrender” would be the word i needed to focus on this year. I was journaling about it one night and My heart became so full of emotion. And i was wondering why did i feel so blocked from God but yet and still he wanted me to surrender. He quietly told me... you don’t have a personal relationship with me... you live off of what others have with me. You focus on what everyone else’s relationship “looks like”. You’ve lessened me to a quote or a timely scripture. NOT THE BIG GOD I REALLY AM.


Shortly after that i removed myself from all the outside influences that were overtaking my mind and emotions. Yeah...the pressure for a “certain” marriage was big and to be “that kind” of mother was too but when it started affecting my heart toward Jesus it was just too much.


The world had overtaken my mindset on every single level. I was tired.


Romans 12:2


Now i am moving forward. I still get hung up. But I’m pressing on.


I want to encourage you. You might not be struggling with insecurities like i am but in case you are, ask God to pinpoint to you exactly what’s triggering your insecurities. Step back. Redirect. Take a breath. Remove the triggers. That might mean deleting every social media app on your phone or it might just mean limiting your screen time. Either way do it. For your peace of mind. For your happiness. For your security.


Until Nothing’s Left


Brittany


Some scriptures for you to check out:


“But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."1 Samuel 16:7 ESV


“Be well balanced and always alert, because your enemy, the devil, roams around incessantly, like a roaring lion looking for its prey to devour. Take a decisive stand against him and resist his every attack with strong, vigorous faith. For you know that your believing brothers and sisters around the world are experiencing the same kinds of troubles you endure.”
1 Peter 5:8-9 TPT


“Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.” Romans 12:2 TPT


“But he answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 TPT

Surrender...


A word that is hard to swallow...
A word that is almost frightening in my opinion.
But as A Christian this word is completely necessary to fully relying on God.


I looked up some definitions for this word and the one that stuck out to me the most was “ abandon oneself entirely to (a powerful emotion or influence); give in to.”


Well obviously our surrendering as Christians is bigger than just to an emotion— we give in to something bigger than something that can change from one moment to the next.


Our surrendering is to a constant, Never wavering, never changing, sustaining God.


So why is it so hard to surrender if we know that God is constant and he will never fail us by any means...


Because we are frail. We are fragile. And we are control freaks.


We like to look at ourselves as strong but outside of God we are weak... but this is not necessarily a bad thing. Matter of fact it isn’t bad at all... we get the best gift in our most fragile places... 2 Corinthians 2:10 says “So I’m not defeated by my weakness, but delighted! For when I feel my weakness and endure mistreatment—when I’m surrounded with troubles on every side and face persecution because of my love for Christ—I am made yet stronger. For my weakness becomes a portal to God’s power.”


How edifying is that. To know that when we are at our lowest low God is strongest and he will literally carry you through your storm. But you can only get the full joy in this by surrendering.


Yes, I know it’s hard but just imagine how it would be to have life’s problems pop up and you not even ponder over them getting solved or fixed... you just know God’s got you. Think about how you won’t have as many headaches, sleepless nights, queasy stomach feelings... think about how relieving it will be when it’s all said and done.


Don’t think that i am just a guru at surrendering... trust me. I STRUGGLE!
But God spoke to me through a song— So Will I, Hillsong United.
One part simply says “If you gladly chose surrender so will i.” It is speaking of Jesus Christ surrendering himself to the cross and death and the grave... but y’all... i got a secret.


That’s not how the story end... Jesus rose and defeated death.


Hear me when i say this. If Jesus defeated death... then what makes you think your little problems here on earth cannot be solved with HIS POWER AND MIGHT.


You win! With Him by your side, you win!


Truly surrendering to Him brings about such comfort and peace. So as the new year approaches allow yourself to surrender to a God that doesn’t fail. Find peace in knowing that when problems arise HE is already taking care of them. Don’t allow your mind to be bogged down with trying to tackle every issue this year but in the words of one of my favorite hymns... take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there.


Happy New Year All!


Until Nothing’s Left,


Brittany


2Corthians 2:10

I didn’t want to come to you all cliche...
I didn’t want to sound fake...


I had been asking God what i was going to write about for my 30th birthday... how i would elaborate on my life over the years...


I am not going to act like everything has been so good and wonderful but ALL IN ALL i have truly been very fortunate.


This is my first “milestone” birthday that i have been actively writing this blog... and i don’t know why it has been so hard for me to get the words to express the accuracy of my feelings.


I am struggling because i am trying to make things complicated and profound. But the things that matter in life aren’t complicated. They are like little flickers that we miss while we look at our phone... they are what we try to get on camera the second time around...they are things we deem small in the grand scheme of things. They are the moments that remind us of how powerful the simplicity of our stories can be.


Small things are big things to me now because i have a toddler running around my house... every little new word and new action he does is huge to me and George regardless of how minuscule would be to someone else.


I think about different instances throughout my life that were HUGE. Things that make me wonder if they would have gone a different way how would my life have turned out...


We tend to harp on the bigger things because they define our life.


It’s the smaller things that get pushed aside or forgotten about almost as soon as they happen. But these small moments allowed the bigger moments to have more meaning.


I remember my last semester at UNA. They were having the day where high school students come view the campus and go to the football game. Well i had to work the college of nursing booth... and afterward i was walking to my dorm room talking to my parents. They were telling me that they were just out and about around BIrmingham not doing much and not 10 mins later they pulled up. Y’all have no clue what that did to my spirit. Just a simple day trip to come see me. See they had no clue how lonely i was that day. They had no clue how lonely i had been that whole last semester. Not because i didn’t have people around me that loved me but because so much change was happening in my life. That small gesture framed the rest of my semester. It let me know they were always there.


Oh what about that time my brother picked me up from school when i was still at Ramsay and he had come home from UNA and i had no clue he was in town and we laughed at the man whose windshield wipers couldn’t stop going no matter how hard he tried to turn them off— lame i know but hilarious to us.


Or that time George and i sat at the table in the fellowship hall of my church and he told me he was going to make me fall in love with him. The moment i knew i wanted that guy forever.


That time me and Daphne and SDot sat in the parking lot of Hawthorne and watched super moon for hours...


What about when my Grandma use to pick me and my brother up from school and we use to go by the gas station and get candy...


Or when my Aunt Audrey use to let me on her lap and drive in Tuskegee...

The many times Justin and I rode through Birmingham listening to 90s R&B and people watching...

Let’s not forget that 3lb 12 oz small baby that i could pick up with one hand. That small baby that allowed me to see that God really does work miracles. That tiny foot with the IV in it. That already tiny onesie that still swallowed his body. That tiny human being gave my life more meaning than anything i have ever thought of.




I can think of so many of these little things that made me feel loved or appreciated or whole. It wasn’t a grand moment that all the stars aligned it was a simple thing that made my heart flutter and my eyes water from pure happiness.


Simple things are truly what makes up this amazing life God has granted us. They make the big things bigger. They make you appreciate people more. They make you realize that life is made up of things that aren’t all meant to be shared on social media but kept in the special corners of your heart and the photo albums of our minds.


So when i think of turning 30... nothing big and complex comes to mind... only the simple things that have taken place in my life that.


Cherishing these things is something i have done over the years and something i will continue to do.


Although turning 30 is huge... what really matters is the small memories i will continue to make with my family. Those small things i can do on my job to make sure my patients go home without any worries. Those tiny instances that God shows me he is ALWAYS looking out for me.


I don’t plan on making big things happen now that i have entered into my 30s i plan holding tightly to those things that really matter.


Happy Birthday to me!!


Until Nothing’s Left...


Brittany