More Than A Number
I never realized until I started trying to lose weight how much numbers “define” us. I would weigh in every week with hopes that the number on the scale would significantly decrease. Some days it went down 3lbs, some .2lbs some not at all… the days when I lost more I would immediately be in a better mood. The days where the numbers were on the lesser end I would find myself in sort of a slump, wondering how I messed up and what I could do to get back on track. I began obsessing so much to the point where I had to take my scale out of plain sight because it was getting ridiculous. The funny thing about it all was even though the number on the scale read a certain thing and it might not have been what I wanted I could still tell a difference in my clothes, my face, even my shoes lol. But those things were not as significant to me as seeing a numerical decrease.
For a while now the number on the scale has bounced back and forth between a few of the same numbers… it has been sort of discouraging to see that the number isn’t really changing anymore. My mind has gotten to the point where it is playing tricks on me. I will look in the mirror and see the old 35lbs heavier Brittany. Even though I know that it is not the truth I still find myself being dissatisfied with what I see. And ultimately it is ALL because of a number.
This got me thinking. Thinking about HOW OBSESSED we can get with numbers and how it can change our whole perspective on… well life.
I remember when I was applying for colleges I had only applied to a few and I was set on one for sure. I had been accepted and was in the process of picking out my dorm space and all that. This school was rather large and I remember talking to someone and they told me that the classes were so large that the students went by numbers and not their names. This freaked me out. Especially coming from a high school (RAMSAY HIGH SCHOOL—BEST THERE IS) that was smaller and everyone knew everyone! The teachers, lunchroom staff and everyone else knew you by name. I couldn’t fathom the fact that I would be a number. Well this major factor along with a few other things changed my mind about going to this particularly large college and I decided to go to a smaller school (UNIVERSITY OF NORTH ALABAMA—BEST THERE IS). There the teachers knew my name and were very involved in my education. I loved UNA and I wouldn’t change a thing about going there. But as I sit back and think I realize that even if I would have gone to that larger school my education would have been the same. I would have probably had an amazing time. Being a number wouldn’t have changed really anything. But, I let it scare me. I let it be the determining factor on where I continued my education.
I remember growing up having to memorize phone numbers. I had a Lisa Frank planner that I kept everyone’s number in and referred to it when I needed to contact someone. Well, it was always a few people’s numbers who I always remembered; whether it was my best friend (at the time) or a boy I liked. What’s crazy is I still remember some of those numbers to this day. I use to play with people’s minds a little and say little things to see if they had memorized my number, thinking if they knew my number “by heart” that I was more special to them. It was kind of silly. But that mattered to me.
Now all of these are TOTALLY different circumstances but they all involved a number of some sort. I know I am not the only one who focuses on numbers… My point behind all these scenarios really is to say that none of these things “define” you. None of them make you any less or any more.
Whether you are 30lbs over weight or 30lbs underweight… You are still you! You are still special. You are more than that. I understand you want the scale to read different but if your cholesterol is down and your blood pressure is good—I would think being healthy matters WAYYYY More!
Whether you are a number in a class of 300 or your teacher knows your name… You can still get your education. You can still make a difference. You can STILL graduate at the top of your class.
Them knowing your number by memory or not doesn’t mean they like you any more or any less… Their number being in your phone or them randomly calling you… has nothing to do with you… you can’t let that or them make you feel more or less important. Yeah I get it! Trust me! But what does it matters if they are calling you if every time they call they are arguing or being petty… Move along. Your sanity matters more.
I am speaking to myself when I write this post. We can’t continue to obsess with things that ultimately don’t matter.
We have to learn to focus back on what really matters! God! And identify ourselves through his eyes! Romans 12:2 is such a good reminder! (listed at the bottom)
We are more than what society makes us think is important. Be reminded that God defines you! We are more than numbers to Him.
A few scriptures to remind us of who we really are:
Now anyone enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new person. All that is related to the old order has vanished. Behold , everything is fresh and new. 2 Corinthian 5:17
I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is so marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazed me to think about it. How thoroughly you know me, Lord. Psalms 139:14
Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern Go’d will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in His eyes. Romans 12:2
Until Nothing’s Left,
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.