When it comes to friendships i have been blessed to find some amazing women and men that have truly had my back and loved on me through all my mess! But i have also had some periods throughout my life that my friends became few and far between.
Friendships dissolve for different reason and sometimes it can be a peaceful breakaway and other times it can be terrible! I have experienced how nasty a parting of ways can be and i am also seeing how maturity can bring about a softer blow.
The more i grow in Jesus the more i am doing heart checks (check out my post before this) and beginning to realize it isn’t always someone else’s fault. I am not
ALWAYS THE VICTIM!
As college ended and after college i held onto being the victim for a long time. I was so hurt and i was so mad. BUT it was partially my fault. It wasn’t just the other party doing something to me. It was very much so both of us being childish or just mean to one another. I look back on those days and i constantly ask God why things happened as they did... but I am realizing without those instances i would never learn how to remove myself from playing victim in every situation. I know that those instances have brought me to this point of accepting and admitting.
I am realizing that sometimes i start the argument. I created the rumor. I told the lie. I played the middle. I made communication be nonexistent. I was the problem— not the victim.
As I’ve matured i have learned the power of simply accepting that i was toxic and apologizing for being that person. Making time to not necessarily rekindle that friendship BUT squash whatever beef there was or just move on.
Although most of my friendship issues happened about 10 years ago they still weighed heavy on me because i played a huge part in creating them.
I’m not saying all this because it’s the cool thing... because who wants to truly admit that they caused a potentially good friendship to end. I am saying this because it’s TRUTH!
Y’all, IT IS NOT ALWAYS EVERYONE ELSE! Everyone else is not always bad.
Until the toxicity is removed from your spirit then your mindset will continuously go back to pointing the finger.
This might be hard to admit right off but remove yourself from always being the victim. It has taken me 10 years but it is so freeing.
Admit your wrongs and live your life without holding onto these things that are holding you back.
Until Nothing’s Left...
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.