No I did not write the wrong title for this blog. I am well aware that I turned 27 today. I titled this blog "Year 26" because I have never experienced a year quite like it. It was different, for a lack of a better word.
It was a testimony in the making. It was a change of outlook. It was eye, mind and heart opening. It was something else.
Shortly after I turned 26 I became a wife. So the whole month of January up until about January 30 is a complete blur. I spent the end of December and most of January finalizing everything for our ceremony, reception and honeymoon. I can barely remember the actual day I turned 26, and if I can just be honest with you I really didn't pay attention to the fact that I was 26 until the middle of last month when someone said something about my birthday coming up.
Don't get me wrong. I am truly grateful for this year, but it has been FULL! Full of so many emotions and life changes and just learning who Brittany is.
Aside from the few minor accomplishments that 26 has given me like perfecting my eyebrow routine and realizing that YouTube is all I need to relax after a long day, I was able to figure out a few things that will never allow me to forget this past year.
Twenty-six gave me a new outlook on "Religion and Relationship." I did not just know God. I yearned for Him. I didn't just need Him, I wanted Him--daily. He has guided me through this year. He has loved me in spite of my doubts. This past year, God gave me a new meaning to living. He opened his arms to me, and I FINALLY opened my heart to knowing Him, and oh my, what a benefit that has had on my life. ( I dare you to try it.) He showed me that trusting in Him is the only way to see how beautiful life is. He reminded me that living a "good" life comes through living my own life and not trying to imitate someone else's. The molding I have experienced has pushed me closer to being the person He is intending me to be.
I would love to say that I have just been so in love with God this whole year and not one time did I doubt his plan or question his reasoning, but we all know that would be a lie. I spent a lot of time this year wrestling with the fact that I AM NOT IN CONTROL! I would sing the words I surrender all, and my life is not my own, and not fully realize what I was saying until disappointment reigned over me because I thought I needed something and God knew better.
Twenty-six brought me plenty of tears.
Tears of sadness from the yearning to conceive a child that God wasn't ready for us to have.
Tears of anger from constantly asking why and feeling like I never got an answer.
Tears of confusion from just not grasping not my will but His.
Tears of PURE joy from seeing my friends marry, conceive and have children.
Tears of thankfulness for new jobs and opportunities when we counted ourselves out.
Tears of UNDERSTANDING that His will is far greater than mine.
Twenty-six gave me a new last name, Davis. With a new last name came new responsibilities. I quickly learned that a wife is more than cooking, cleaning and fussing. It's love. It's understanding. It's death to self. It's unselfishness. It's being okay with being bothered even though you are tired. It's wanting an orderly house but choosing to chill with the hubs because these times are so precious and so much more important than vacuumed steps. My new last name came with a new perspective.
Many friendships have gone by the wayside this year. Some were lost due to misunderstanding, others due to seasons changing. But one thing that I have never experienced in friendship lost that I did experience this year was peace. I no longer yearned for those people to be in my presence. I became okay with the fact that I no longer needed them taking up heart and mind space that could be used for something that God has better plans for. Although some friendships were washed away, others blossomed and flourished. They gave me a new outlook on grace. My circle grew smaller but became more fulfilling.
Twenty-six showed me that just because you call them family doesn't mean they won't disappoint you. And although disappointments arose, true love conquered.
This past year enhanced my life. It made me bold, persistent, consistent, unapologetic. I have learned to pray and praise and worship like never before.
Although this year has been a whirlwind, I have leaned who Brittany is--the four-foot, eleven-inch woman who struggles with weight, insecurities, expectations and doubts but has a big heart and a true yearning for Christ. A developing wife. Family oriented and fun-loving.
Twenty-six might be gone, but its memories shine brightly.
12/22/2015 08:23:38 pm
I absolutely love it Britt!!! Amazing is an understatement!! I love how reflective and in tune to what God has for you!!! I love to see your light shine!! Authentic and unapologetic!! May God continue to bless your walk! For your faithfulness does not go unnoticed!! Praise Him, love you and happy birthday!!
12/23/2015 06:20:19 am
I truly appreciate your continuous support and encouragement! Keeps me going! Love you! And thank you!
12/26/2015 07:42:57 pm
Awesome! Hey, I'll need you to brainstorm and write my Year 29 next June. Lol, I can write the Hello 30 at the end... great reflection boo
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