I won't Give Up

So what’s the deal with commitment?
Why is it so hard to commit?
Relationships, diets, jobs, budgets?

I don’t even know how many months ago I said I would commit to blogging more.
I wish I could say that the reason I have been away was because I had writers block, but that would be a lie. There have been plenty of ideas that have come to mind that I felt that I should expound on.  My true reason for not blogging truly has to do with commitment. I can’t blame it on adjusting to parenthood. I can’t blame it on juggling a new position. I can truly blame it on not being as committed as it was when I started.

So as I began to think back to many other things in my life and I realized that I struggle with commitment. Don’t get me wrong. Not when it comes to my marriage or my job or being a mama or being a dependable friend. I do just fine when it comes to those things. Why? Because, I feel needed. I feel necessary. I feel wanted. I feel like I make a difference. I can see results. The results I see keep me fueled. They keep me yearning to do more in these different aspects. The results make me try harder and keep wanting to do better.
Realizing why I was so committed to these things allowed me to see why I wasn’t as committed to so many other things. Things like THIS BLOG, weight loss, daily bible study and the biggest one is FAITH. I slowly began to realize that when I, like many others, don’t see quick results I give up.

I might write blogs for 3 months straight and then skip a month or two because the thoughts of nobody will miss one post or who even cares what I write, start to creep up. When I haven’t dropped 3 dress sizes in 2 months I begin to think that this healthy eating and working out is truly pointless so why not just eat what I want and be lazy. I’ll study my bible for a few days, but then laziness takes over and the tiredness that doesn’t seem to exist when I am up watching YouTube at all the wee hours of morning overwhelm me as soon as I crack my bible open.  My faith quickly wavers when I pray for God to shut my mouth instead of staying something unnecessary to my husband but I end up saying it anyway—then I’m like “God where were you then… You know I have been praying about my mouth but I still can’t seem to shut up at times… why can’t you just fix this problem?!?

It didn’t take much time for God to check me. He was put it plain and simple.
He said… Brittany, when it comes to your marriage and making sure your household is taken care of don’t you put in daily effort?  Don’t you wash dishes or wash clothes or pay bills or vacuum or do something for the upkeep of your marriage and home daily? Or when it comes to your job don’t you talk to your boss about different opportunities to learn more and practice different techniques of how to make yourself better as a leader? How about with George Solomon don’t you make it your business to feed and nurture him, to discipline him and give him everything within your power? Or even when it comes to being a good friend or reliable family member don’t you take the time out to text or call your friends or reach out to your family just to let them know you are thinking about them?

I knew where God was taking me when He “said” all these things to me. I knew He was trying to get me to realize that only with deliberate effort can I see the results I yearn to see in these things I tend to let fall by the wayside. It takes truly believing in God’s ability to make these things come to fruition. It takes believing in me enough to know that with CHRIST I can do anything. Most importantly it takes me actually WORKING. Yes, I know, I know that it is not necessary for me to do anything to make God work. His good works are not contingent on my actions. He is GOOD regardless. BUT by working I am putting my faith in action form. I am meal prepping instead of grabbing something quick at work. It takes TURNING OFF that makeup tutorial and turning on a sermon. It takes walking out the room when I feel like I am going to say something reckless to start an unnecessary argument. It TAKES COMMITMENT to remain committed. Although that might sound silly it really is the truth. Things don’t just start off being important. It comes with nurturing and loving. Although I didn’t physically hold my baby until he was born  I began nurturing him when I read “pregnant” on that test. Commitment comes with making time and being graceful with yourself when you stumble. It comes with a heart of want to… even when it is hard to see results.

Even when you don't notice it that waist still may be getting a little smaller. Your mouth may be getting a little less smart. All because you didn’t give up when you fell off the wagon those first 3 times. Your faith may be growing little by little all because of diligence and unwavering effort.

So friend, remain steadfast. Stay faithful. Be committed.
 
Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you. Psalm 37:5
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Psalm 16:3
 

Brittany