I started this blog last week. I wrote most of it and deleted it. I pretty much knew that God wanted me to write about this specific topic but I was being very stubborn.
So I said to God if you really want me to write about this then I need some type of sign. I need some sort of confirmation.
Well, it didn't happen in the time period I wanted it so I just said forget about it and moved on, but God was like "Oh, you aren't about to escape this one Brittany."
So I show up at life group on Sunday morning and my brother, Anthony (author of the books#Betterand RelationTIPS. Go get your copies.) is teaching and as soon as I sat down, he said, "Is it okay for you to reminisce on not-so-good situations? What's the difference in simply remembering and dwelling?"
I don't think you all understand me when I say it was like God spoke directly through him to me at that moment. I was pretty much in awe for a few seconds. Like hold up, did that really just happen?
It was the confirmation I needed without a doubt. So let me quit rambling and get to my task.
Last year around this same time George and I got hit with the news that if he did not pass his EMT certification exam he would go on administrative leave without pay until he could pass it. This hit us like a ton of bricks. (We had not moved in together. We had just combined incomes and started paying bills together.) What made it so bad was that he only had one more chance to take it before he would completely lose his job by a certain date. Oh yeah, and we were about to get married. (I speak of this time a little more in a previous blog as well... Check out Never The Same)
I prayed and prayed and prayed asking God, Why now? What exactly are you trying to prove, God?
We are trying to do right. We aren't having sex. We are tithing and trying to grow closer to you. Why?
My spirit was so frantic.
I remember one day I was out and about doing something for the wedding, and I was talking to George about the house and money situations and how we were going to be short on a bill or two. I was extremely discouraged. In the midst of that I remember God saying to me, "Let it go. I will take care of you all." At the time I had no idea what he meant, so I kind of brushed it off to be honest. By the time I got back to my parents’ house, God had already proven to me he was in control. My dad handed me a check that one of our family members gave George and me for an early wedding gift, and it was just enough to pay the bills and have a little extra.
I was in awe. God had already worked it out before I could really fret about it.
Not only did that happen but the month of January happened to be a month that I got three paychecks from my job and we received multiple monetary gifts from our wedding showers and the wedding. God had everything under control from the beginning. I was so grateful.
I was able to understand why he allowed all that to happen when he did. He took care of us, like he said he would.
Not even a year has passed, y’all, and it took a random person to remind me of how different our life and our situation was last year. When I heard him say it, I was floored. Not because of the fact that the person had the audacity to say it but because of how quickly I forgot about it.
I had to stop for a second and regroup. How could I let something of so much importance slip my mind?
A whole year? Are you kidding me! Not one time did I think about it when I kept opening my Wells Fargo app to see if more money would magically appear to pay those never-ending bills. Not one time did I remember when I sat in church and reluctantly put my tithes in the basket. Not one time did I remember when George reminded me that God would take care of us. Not one time!
I was embarrassed to say the least. I felt like I had just pushed God's goodness in that situation to the side. How could I do that? Is it that easy? How dare I?
When I finally sat and reminisced about the situation, I was reminded of how faithful God was to us in that time. But more importantly I was reminded of how important it is for us to sometimes look back on our challenging situations to help us remember how God brings us through—how he never stops looking out for us. Thinking about past hardships doesn't always have to put us back in a negative place. We can use those thoughts to calm our spirits. As our minds wander to those times, they can put us in check and sometimes convict us all over again so we don't have to go back down that road again.
Life group showed me that I needed that reminder. I needed to go back for that period of time and say "Thank you, God." It is okay to be reminded and to go down memory lane momentarily, but there is no need to take up residence there. I don't have to dwell on a situation for God to understand I am thankful for it and what he did through it.
I don't think I will ever forget how God saw us through during that time in our lives. In fact, I am positive God will always have a way to remind me of that specific situation and how he fulfilled his promise to take care of us.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.